💥 Have you ever felt that “executive presence” means you can’t retain a soft edge?
“If I have to become a jerk to get executive presence, I’m in trouble,” shared my coaching client. This manager staring at me via Zoom was dead serious. And honestly? I understood why she felt that way.
She’d been watching senior leaders in leaders interrupt, talk over others, and attempt to wield power through intimidation.
“Do I really have to give up being nice to rise higher?” she asked. “I’m not sure I can.”
We stopped to consider what was working for her in her current leadership style: People wanted to join her team.
Not because she used her rank, but because she built genuine connections. Her two rules: “Be collaborative and clearly communicate expectations.”
Her team delivered results. Turns out, people perform better when they’re not operating in survival mode around their boss.
She had influence across departments. Other teams actually wanted to collaborate with her. That’s powerful.
The realization: She didn’t need to harden her style to hold power. Her kindness was the sizzle in her influence.
Commanding respect ≠ commanding through fear.
You can be warm and still set firm boundaries.
You can be kind and still make tough calls.
You don’t have to become someone others are afraid to challenge or cross or avoid when they see you coming.
I’m curious — if you’re a manager, what’s helped YOU to hold onto your humanity while stepping into leadership?
Sheri Bell
Clarity & Momentum 
Coach
SheriBellCoach.com
I hold the PCC (Professional Certified Coach) credential with the International Coaching Federation (ICF). This represents the ICF’s rigorous required classroom and assessment hours, as well as 500 hours (minimum) of client coaching. I’ve coached 1100+ hours as of June 2026. My coaching income helps to support two global charities: Charity Water and Mercy Ships.